Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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