Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
