Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
