@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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