I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
