just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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