My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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