Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
