There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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