i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
People with herpes should wear stickers.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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