Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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