This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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