so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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