so explain again why im purple
no
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
