I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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