Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cockslap morals
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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