I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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