That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
