guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
