she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
