So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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