Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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