I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
