All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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