sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
