Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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