i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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