Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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