remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
