Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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