This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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