he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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