i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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