I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
