I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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