she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
