his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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