I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
