Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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