so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
