That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
