i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
