are you still at the devil's house?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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