forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
