Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize