Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Betty ford says i'm here all night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
