Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
