Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
