Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
