I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
