Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
