Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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